Tuesday, October 10, 2006

9 Reasons to Become an Evil Villain

1. You will have more friends

Peter Parker was a social outcast. Norman Osborne was the popular kid. Reed Richards was a dorky scientist. Victor Von doom was a rich socialite. Anyone else sensing a pattern here? Everyone wants to get a little piece of the evil. It is like Starburst.


2. You get to laugh maniacally

Good guys don’t get to do this. No one has ever heard Superman or Batman laughing like a maniac and no one ever will. Trust me, this is something everyone wants to do. It is strangely liberating. While you may pass chances to do this every once in a while during your civilian life, you will never get the quantity of opportunities that come with a career in villainy.


3. All of a sudden, you will have the budget for all kinds of toys

Super bad guys are never broke. Not only are they never broke but they always have more resources than the hero could ever hope for. Apparently the villain racket pays very well. It also seems to be recession-proof. I hear the tax breaks are good too.


4. Hot chicks dig evil guys

You never see an evil villain with a busted ass woman. Sure, they may be dirty, rotten, and out to steal your empire, but you can always kill them if they get out of hand. Studies show that breasts of women who hang out with evil guys are an average of two cups bigger than the nice dudes chicks. Studies don’t ever lie.


5. You will be safe from everyday accidents

Evil villains are never killed in car accidents. It just doesn’t happen. You won’t slip in the shower, get smashed by a falling piano, or die of food poisoning. The only way you can be killed is in an explosion created by the hero by exposing the one flaw in your plan that no one could ever possibly foresee. Even then…


6. You don’t have to worry about anyone killing you

Evil Villains simply can not be killed. People may think you are dead but you will secretly be lounging in an easy chair on your secret desert island hideout planning your next caper. The only way you can be taken out is by another villain eviler than yourself who will subsequently take over your identity and continue upon your path of world domination.


7. You can kill anyone you want

You won’t go to jail. For some strange reason, cops never come to bust Evil villains at their homes even when the evidence is overwhelming. You could kill Superman on a live video feed in front of the entire planet and not one cop would try to arrest you. They can’t even arrest you for the stash of plutonium you have in your shed. It is in the charter when you join the union.


8. You get to dress how you want

You never have to wear a suit and tie again. You can even dress in the most outrageous outfits while demanding the world bow to your demands and no one will even make the slightest of snide comment. This could have something to do with the fact that you can kill anyone you want and can’t be killed back. Remember, no one ever made fun of Magnetos helmet…


9. No matter how weak you are, you will be more than a match for any hero facing you

“But zero, Batman would kick my ass in two shakes of a stripper’s ass…” None of that matters. The sheer newness of your evil plot will confuse the hell out of any good guy. As long as you aren’t doing something that has been done to death (ie goblin themed villains) you should have no problem getting your plans off the ground.



9 comments:

liuyanqiu918 said...

It Ed Hardy Bags was Ed Hardy SPECIALS such Ed Hardy Belts an Ed Hardy Kids Clothing easy birth Ed Hardy Kids T Shirts Szabo says Ed Hardy Active Wear I Ed Hardy Mens T-Shirt was in Ed Hardy Mens Tops the Ed Hardy Mens Hoodies pains Ed Hardy Mens Jeans of Ed Hardy Swim Trunks labor Tiffany and co Bracelets for Tiffany and co Bangles about Tiffany and co Pendants qwe Tiffany and co Earrings aardtz Tiffany and co Necklaces or five Tiffany and co Rings hoursthen Tiffany and co Cuff Links I pushed Tiffany and co Key Rings once Tiffany and co Sets and he Tiffany Bracelet popped out Tiffany Bangle Read more Tiffany Pendant about the Tiffany Necklace Szabos links of london sweetie

weddingdresses said...

Power Balance is important to not also, all the testimonials say that once power balance bracelet is tried it is impossible to part with it. It is said because it works in such a perfect harmony with your body one simply doesn't want to take it off. Also pulsera power balanceis important to note that wristband alone is not enough to accomplish some task.
winter boots
nike running shoes

MulberryNews said...

These tend to be approximately hji0vll all desired Oakley Sunglasses Cheap throughout Aviation and Half X Oakley air carriers market alongside with all the linked sector. Since Oakley Sunglasses Discount a new extended occasion several guys and women appropriate from over the world picture as a Pilot Sale Oakley Sunglasses thereby they goal to recover 1 amazing pair connected with Oakley Jawbone which fits their own personal styles along with behaviour. As to me that most Oakley Stpl Jawbone likely is undoubtedly a need until eventually existing morning, but buying a particular of Half X could generally make which posesses a sensation your current need could possibly come to be a simple Oakley Sunglasses Outlet fact some morning.

MulberryNews said...

A couple Oakley Sunglasses Outlet is usually vftbieg a single on the most hip style add-ons readily Half X available. Guys, women of all ages, Oakley Stpl Jawbone teenagers, seniors in addition to individuals by all tutorial classes slip on Oakley Jawbone. while applying development of internet pages and area of expertise stores that supply decreased artisan Sale Oakley Sunglasses, for case, anybody in any respect can cover to attain Oakley Sunglasses Discount these modern accessories. you'll uncover innumerable motives to get on a couple shades, even so, right here i will discuss Half X Oakley several variables of notice. The succeeding motive to use on Oakley Sunglasses Cheap will be to appear eye-catching.

MulberryNews said...

If you love mineral water vytrqpn athletics, you also will check out getting some Oakley Frogskins. These kind of musician Oakley Frogskin are generally exclusively devised for significant mineral water circumstances. Your anatomist regarding your design and style through the Cheap Oakley Sunglasses is around enabling you to discover superior with all the branded Say 300 along with 500 Oakley Jawbone. This doesn't happen ought to price tag anyone the supply including a knee to get Oakley Jawbones. whilst you keep in an authorized online vendor, you can find the most affordable selling price Oakley sunglasses.

MulberryNews said...

If we recommend to vbaghnm the large explanation, virtually almost any gentleman will certainly consider through the Oakley Sunglasses Cheap tv that is developed to present large solution Half X Oakley photograph with all the electric indication strategy inserted. although this means involving Oakley Sunglasses Discount or maybe your generation treatment involving Sale Oakley Sunglasses are generally a bit distinct. Your Oakley Jawbone are generally developed using amber-tinted Oakley Stpl Jawbone lens, receiving the intention of filtering Half X out and about your orange lighting effects while using variety, for that reason to further Oakley Sunglasses Outlet improve the full shade vividness.

Half X Oakley said...

You may want to track vgebhty down nicely made Oakley Sunglasses Cheap using excellent skiing conditions helmets Half X Oakley for you to supplement his or her sporty search. There exists merely one Oakley Sunglasses Discount pertaining to shopper decide on as part of your past Sale Oakley Sunglasses ages. Effectively, the idea tend not to visual appeal that will desired somehow. Nevertheless Oakley Jawbone right now, customers employ a a lot superior alternative: Oakley Stpl Jawbone. Half X while their concept demonstrates could make the thing is that evident though preserving way up your current sight via Oakley Sunglasses Outlet highly effective sun rays.

roger vivier said...

Roger vivier heels cheap sneakers terminal block blown film machine surge protective device ball valve manufacturer shox chaussures.Magasin de chaussures hommes et femmes. En plus des langues europeennes, Roger Vivier magasin de chaussures et d'articles de voyages.Chaussures de Fleurs (Flower Shoes). Posted by Flower Spy on Wednesday vivier shoes ,The mark of Frison's mentor, Roger Vivier, is evident in these.Ces magnifiques escarpins sont signes Roger Vivier. roger vivier heels Dans un style tres 80, ces chaussures a talons tres hauts vzkjvnzk .mixent parfaitement jeu.Roger vivier helps you cathch the fashion style and athletes from around the same high school roger vivier chaussures ,wholesale roger vivier chaussures shoes.Roger vivier online contain, Look-alike Chopard Content Sports activity,the anticipations with a atom with the roger vivier chaussures. Roger Vivier, dont le directeur artistique n'est autre que Bruno Frisoni est une maison ou la tradition tient une place importante. Les chaussures.

qinbincai123 said...

Someone who convinces you that there haoxiod81 really is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it.
Cheap Snapback Hats
Snapback Hats Wholesale
Cheap New Era Hats
Wholesale Hats
New Era Fitted Hats
Cheap MLB Hats
Cheap NBA Hats
monster energy hats
Red Bull Hats
Superman Hats