Welcome back, fellow stoners, to the weekly marijuana crop report. As always, many thanks go out to the anonymous stoners all over the world for all the emails and well wishes. It is solely because of you that this report even exists.
I would like to start this report out by paying tribute to the great Bradley Nowelle of Sublime, who died ten years ago last Thursday. He was a great musician with a bright future until it was so prematurely snuffed out by the evil drug known as heroin. Brad, while you read this report from the great stoner van in the sky, just know that we will never forget you. Now, on with the report.
A shit-ton of emails came in from Canada in the past few weeks. It is widely rumored that the guys up in BC have the best chronic in all of the land, and after testing a bit of it the other day, I am not one to argue. The average goes for 150$ an ounce while the legendary stuff goes for between 180 and 200 for the same. 25$ will get you an 1/8 and for 15 more you can pick up a nice quarter of some of their shwagg, which to the rest of us is really good bud. More on the other regions of the great white north in future reports.
From there, we move on to a single email received from China, where the penalty for marijuana is death. This is somewhat ironic, since the first documented people to smoke and prescribe marijuana for ailments were the Chinese. One brave soul who shall forever remain nameless reported that a sack of buds is near impossible to get due to the death squads. However, there are places that it grows wild. The trick is to get there before the old Chinese men and other misplaced foreigners loot it all for themselves. I am told that is not an easy task. Steering clear of the red mainland is a good idea for stoners everywhere.
Now we go out of the darkness and into the light so to speak, with a report from the Mecca of marijuana smokers, Kingston, Jamaica. Sources in the heartland of weed smoke report 16$ oz’s of what is known as normal weed in those parts, and 25$ for the really good stuff. Those prices are all US dollars. What a great tourist destination.
Moving on in our travels, we head to the great city of New York. I have it on good authority that there are three types of buds going around the metro area right now; Middies, Beasters, and Headies. The Middies, or shwagg to the rest of us, are going for $20 an 1/8 and 100 an oz. Beasters, which would be mid grade quality or better, is nearly double those prices at 40 an 1/8 and 220-240 an oz. The Headies, which is the top quality stuff, is going for around 10$ a gram in some places, and around 320-350 an ounce on average.
Scottsbluff Nebraska is the exact polar opposite of NYC, but the smokers there have still let themselves be known. The customary price for an 1/8 of kind holds true in our nations heartland at 50$ per 3.5, with shwagg going for between 30-35$ a quarter ounce if it is really good. It has been said that they also see some of the outdoor variety (not nearly as good as hydro but better than swhagg) going for 40$ an 1/8.
Sweden is the last destination in our travels this week. On the west coast of that beautiful country the herbs are going for a decent 68 US dollars an 1/8. I say that is decent considering the prices do not change for the quality, and they tend to get a lot of Amsterdam import in that region. That is 500 SEK for you European folks. Long live neutrality.
That is it for this week. Trust that we have much more of the world left to visit and this report will go on as long as needed to make sure everyone is represented. Emails are always appreciated and totally confidential to email@example.com. Until next week, smoke em if you got em.