Tuesday, October 10, 2006

F*ck Religion 2 - The Mocking Of Christianity

Supposedly, there is a man who lives in the clouds. No, good Star Wars fans, I am not talking about the great Lando Calrusian. Although, that story is almost more believable than the one I heard. This man is allegedly named “God” and apparently, he watches everything we do.

I am told this guy created everything in existence. Anything I do that is remarkable and shows the triumph of the human spirit should be attributed to him. I should also give money to his followers for him, even though it has never been proven that he actually exists.

From what they tell me he also has a kid. Some hard-ass named Jesus who pissed the people of the world off so bad that we had to get rid of him in the foulest way possible. Even though I have never seen nor heard from this guy, not so much as a phone call, there are people out there who will swear to the death that he loves me. I’m sure if I talked to him for a few minutes, I could cure him of that obsessive emotion without too much trouble.

There is also a rumor of some kind of end of the world stuff going on in the near future. This god character is suppose to take everyone he likes and bring them up to the clouds with him to watch the rest of the world suffer. This may sound a tad misogynistic to those of us who use the logic center of our brains, but for some it is the final reward for being nice to all of us bastards who they believe will burn for eternity.

This god guy also has a book. I read it but it was really hard to understand and frankly just boring. Too many metaphors were used and the storyline was screwed up to the point of one chapter contradicting another. Some chapters are nothing but useless names and dates. Apart from two sections, Proverbs and Psalms, it really offers no new knowledge whatsoever to its readers.

After careful consideration of all points in this story, I have come to the conclusion that it is erroneous. Erroneous on all counts. It almost sounds like it was put together by the crack head down the street to bamboozle me out of a 20 for his next rock.

I can, however, see how some people might buy it. Hell, we all thought the tooth fairy was real at one time. Some people just need something to believe in, and that is not a bad thing. We should all be allowed to believe what we want in the quiet and solitude of our own homes.

That is the key here. Solitude. Now, if we can only get these overly social religious people to understand that, the world would be a much better place.

Shoutwire