It seems earlier this week, a malicious article was posted on this site claiming ShoutWire promotes kiddy porn. After a heated discussion at one of the webmaster forums that likes to try to manipulate what you read here, the blogger in question demanded a front page apology and to be thanked for writing his crappy piece. In true SW fashion, here it is…
On behalf of ShoutWire, I want to say sorry. I'm sorry you are such an attention whore that you can’t stick to your own site and have to leech our bandwidth and user base. I am sorry you are such a bad writer that you had to do a poor job at imitating a tabloid. I'm also sorry you can’t handle words like “fuck” or “shit”. I hope you accept this apology, shine it up real nice, turn that son of a bitch sideways, and stick it straight up your candy ass.
We are not here to cater to a self-promoting fool who believes his feelings are more important than the masses who read this great site. Maybe you should go back to the daycare where the nice teachers can protect your virgin ears from our blasphemies and leave this place for the big boys? No one here cares about your blog or the affiliation you claim to have with the big bad FOX news. We don’t give two shits about you or the celebrities you write about.
Another thing we also don’t give two shits about is your lame threat to label us as terrorists. I am a god damn American; you can’t call me a terrorist unless you live in Iraq. So someone somewhere may want to kick your ass for what you wrote on the internet. Join the club, buddy. No one knows how harsh the internet can be more than me. Two weeks after my mother passed away, some asshole here made a comment about fucking her. Did you see me cry and demand an apology? No, and do you want to know why? Because I, unlike you, know how to take a few bad words directed to me on the internet without going all "drama queen".
This guy only attacked ShoutWire because we are more popular than his gay little celebrity-affectionate blog. He thought it could get him a better site ranking (which is now 1,526,843) and maybe even a comment or two. Then, he posts about it on some obscure discussion board and when we call his bullshit, he demands an apology. This guy reminds me of the little weiner dog who snips and snips until the pit bull eats his punk ass. Even though he was completely and totally wrong in this situation and admitted it, he still wouldn’t leave well enough alone.
I’m not going to mention his name here because his blog doesn’t deserve any more attention. One thing I will do, just to show him there are no hard feelings, is to take up a collection for him. He must not be making enough money off that little blog of his to buy a box of tissues, because he is crying all over the internet. If everyone donates a nickel to my pay pal address, I will personally buy a box of Kleenex and have FedEx overnight it to his doorstep.
In closing, I would like to thank all the users who brought the ads to our attention in a civilized manner. I would also like to apologize to any user who may have clicked an ad and got something they didn’t expect. I also must say sorry for that Angelina Jolie / Kate Beckinsale thing last week. I still feel pretty bad about that.
Author's note to individual in question: Go ahead, write about me on your little blog. I’ll make you famous :)
EDIT: It has recently came to my attention that this guy is the one with the kiddie porn on his site. http://www.freshdames.com/jamie_spears/index.html. Jamie is only fifteen. Thanks for filling us in, Adamness.