Tuesday, October 10, 2006

The Recent Inquisition Of The Smokers

Let me start off by saying I am a smoker. I have been puffing cancer sticks since I was thirteen years old, at least a pack a day, sometimes more. I do this because I enjoy it. Sure, I am also addicted, but I enjoy my addiction. However, lately I am finding it harder and harder to feed that addiction due to certain anti-smoking laws being passed. Not just in the U.S., but all over the world.

Yesterday a ban was imposed in Scotland on all public smoking. A similar law was recently passed here in Colorado. The idea behind the legislation is basically noble but there is one problem I personally have with this clean-air trend.

Bars. For Christ sakes, we can’t smoke in bars anymore. What kind of blasphemous crap on a crap cracker is that? These laws will kill the fun level of every bar and pool hall that falls in their evil jurisdictions. I agree that smoking should be prohibited in most places, but do not take away my right to have a cigarette and a beer without having to freeze my ass off outside to do it.

These non smoking crusaders need to leave our local liquor houses alone. By god, we were there first. We will give you your parks and restaurants, fair enough, but don’t push it so far that you end up taking our last vestige of public inhalation.

I am far from the only one who enjoys a good smoke between beers. I mean, seriously, you are already in the place killing your liver, what does it matter if you do a bit of work on your lungs as well? It is not like there are children hanging around. Self Righteousness can only go so far before it becomes Nazism.

We can bet this trend of bans on public smoking will continue to grow like a California wildfire. Soon, smoky bar rooms will become the kind of thing that only lives in old Clark gable movies and drunken tales of adventure that soon fade out over time. All we can do is enjoy the last few puffs before our drunken cigarettes are extinguished forever.

Say goodbye to the bar scene, young Marlboro man. Soon, the memories will be all you have to keep you warm.