Tuesday, October 10, 2006

A Look Back At The Month Of December

It’s been a long December for those of us in the private sector, almost too long. Christmas time has got to be the most stressful time of the year for working class folks and if you woke up today and didn’t find an X-box 360 jammed under your tree it just got worse. With that said, let us take a closer look upon the happenings of this past month, December, 2005.

Death has been a recurring theme. This month held two important anniversaries for the music world. “Dimebag” Darrell Abbott and the great John Lennon were remembered this past month for their legendary contributions to our culture. There are those who would question Dimebags greatness and to those people I offer two middle fingers straight up in the air. Pantera will forever be the greatest metal band ever to rip chords.

The world lost one of its greatest comedic minds with the passing of Richard Pryor this month as well. Arguably he had been dead for years before it was finally declared legally, however, it still offered up a decent opportunity to celebrate the man's life and works for those of us who laughed many times at his genius. It’s a shame that his passing was completely overshadowed by the execution of a former gang member.

At least we can take solace in the fact the world got rid of one piece of scum this past month. Despite the better wishes of Snoop Dogg and Kayne West, founder of the crips and convicted murderer Stanley “Tookie” Williams was finally put to death, proving that just because you are a rap star doesn’t mean people will buy into your bullshit. The whole thing turned into a big circus for a minute there, it’s a good thing the governator decided to end it all on schedule without any kind of crazy “get to the chopper” lines.

Speaking of choppers, what in the blue hell is this fool Nelly doing on my television set bragging about his jewel encrusted false teeth? I knew the world was getting somewhat ridiculous lately but when men get paid to make music about how expensive their dental work is I think it is time to reprioritize.

It was a big month for science with a major breakthrough for the evolution argument. The ruling last week in Dover to ban all teaching of intelligent design was a landmark decision. No longer will the self important religious fanatics be allowed to recruit in our public schools. At least not legally anyways.

Genetic engineering took somewhat of a blow when it was discovered the cloning of 11 human embryos early last year was a complete farce. After a few key names pulled out of the published papers on the matter, the South Korean in charge of the affair spilled the beans at a press conference last week. Now that you’re not at the forefront of genetic engineering anymore, South Korea, how are you going to justify that World Stem Cell Hub center you built to celebrate yourselves? It is a classic case of one owning ones self.

It seems things have changed since the days of Columbine. Instead of using guns to get back at bullies, the tormented masses are now using lawyers. A small town teen who was accused for years of being “gay” by his fellow classmates won a $440,000 lawsuit last week. That’s $40,000 more than the president makes in a year. I wonder how many friends that amount of money can buy.

Speaking of presidents, GWB has sailed through some rough waters this month. After a report that he called the constitution a “god damn piece of paper,” it was revealed that the Bush administration was involved in a little illegal wire tapping on American citizens. Not surprisingly, no charges will probably be filed.

Keeping on the president theme, the president of Iran denied the existence of the holocaust earlier this month. It is yet another shred of proof that the wrong people have been chosen to be our leaders. Like we needed anymore of that.

All in all, I think it was a good month. The Colts lost twice, the Broncos beat the Raiders, Los Angeles didn’t burn down, Shoutwire is still going strong, and if you have made it this far into this editorial, congratulations, it’s over. You are now free to criticize at will.

One last thing, from the entire staff at Shoutwire to our illustrious and infinitely debatable user base, merry xmas and have a happy new year.


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