Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Throwing A Keg Party: 101

It is early Sunday morning here at the base of the great Rocky Mountains, and there is a keg of beer resting in my living room. Most kegs around the world are empty right now, the victim of a ruthless Saturday night of hard drinking, but not this one. This one was purposely held back for use on this, Sunday, the day most decent folks go to church. There is a method behind the madness. Welcome to “How To Throw A Keg Party” 101. I will be your instructor today.

Let me start off by saying this is far from the first keg party I have thrown. After years and years with many, many blowouts, I have realized that there is a science to it. As I woke up this morning, like a 6 year old on Christmas, I realized that a lot of planning went in to this thing. I decided to pass on my knowledge to the populace of ShoutWire. What follows are a few rules you should use when planning your next kegger to optimize party performance.

1. Throw it on a Sunday. This eliminates all the kiddies who would likely find their way in. While a keg party isn’t age specific, a good rule is too keep everyone over 20, 18 at the very minimum. Optimally, everyone would be over 21, but in times of kegs, you always have to figure in for the unknown factor.

2. Keep it on ice for at least two days. No one likes warm beer. A keg fridge is the best idea, but in case one isn’t handy, a garbage can usually does nicely. Keep that son of a bitch submerged and come time to tap it, everyone will be happy.

3. Give everyone at least a week notice. This will ensure nothing else will come up and that you won’t be left with a half a keg at the end of the night. Proper notice must be given.

4. Don’t invite too many people. The ones you do invite will bring friends for sure. Invite half of what it would take to finish the keg, and the rest will just show up. Trust me on this.

5. Buy lots of plastic cups. You will need more than you think. Everyone, at one point in the festivities, loses their cup at least once. Get a marker and keep it by the keg as well for easy identification.

6. Move all of your valuables to a safe place. This means CD’s, DVD’s, any handheld gaming consoles, ipods and the like. Burn some CD’s for music and use those for entertainment.

7. Drink in moderation. No one wants to see a host all shit faced, just in case shit goes down.

8. Be sure to talk to everyone, even those you don’t know. Make everyone feel welcome and good vibes will prevail.

Follow these guidelines and fun will be had for all.


1 comment:

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