Tuesday, May 12, 2009

9 Differences Between Imageboards and Real Life

1.  Women usually GTFO b4 tits

Though not always, a woman is most likely to walk away before she shows you her breasts when given the two options by a random stranger after trying to add her input to the conversation.  The 1% of the time she does choose option A, you are usually left asking yourself if the tits were worth her blabbering opinion anyways...  Protip: the answer is always 'no'.


2.  Encouraging suicide is not acceptable

Most times when you see a guy about to jump from a building or ready to take a dive off a bridge, the normal response is "It's not worth it man!", not "DO IT FAG!"  Like number one, however, there are exceptions.  Enron execs, Emos, and girls who gave you crabs are all fair game.  In those instances, a subtle little push is not out of the question...


3. Cats are boring creatures

Without the funny captions, cats just sit around, shit, and eat foodz.  Dogs are much funner to be around.  They show appreciation, like to play, and will bite the shit out of anyone trying to fuck with you or steal your shit.  In the latter case, a cat will just sit around, whore for attention, and maybe even help the thieves load the truck...


4.  We don't show up at people's funerals just to point and laugh

If funerals were held on the internet, imageboards would be all over it.  Myspace and Facebook pages are fair game though.  And 99% of the time the assholes deserve it, dead or not. For some of these fucks, if it did happen in real life it would be great justice.  Too bad none of us are members of the Westboro Baptist Church...


5.  Pools are hardly ever closed

Whereas in some places, it is always closed.  It is always because of teh AIDS.  For a reason I will not state here, AIDS seems to always affect the pool.  This rule, however, happens to have an exception as well.  Let's all have a laugh as we watch this (surpise!) Fox news report about pools and the closing thereof...





6.  When a girls disses you, your friends will help you get revenge

Another protip: you have no friends on Imageboards.  Make an ill-advised personal army request and just see what happens.  You may end up needing new curtains, having to buy a dog, and telling the whole thing to (suprise again!) Fox news.  You're better off just posting that bitches name and number on Craigslist with the caption "Free Pussy Tonight" and just knowing the lulz will happen.  


7.  There are girls in real life

It's true!  They are not just a rumor.  You can find them in places like shopping malls and tanning salons.  "But zero, what's a 'tanning salon'?"  Come on dude, don't bother me with trivial questions.  It is a place where cows go to get their hides branded with the name of the cowboy who owns them.  What women are doing there, I have no idea.  


8.  Most people can be proud of the places they visit

Rules 1 and 2.  Don't give me that "Only applies to raids, fag" shit either.  If you think putting the name of an imageboard on a t-shirt and wearing it in public makes you cool you are sadly mistaken.  The only possible outcome, other than someone kicking your ass like you deserve, is we find a pic, point, laugh, and tell you to GTFO.  You don't have to say it for people to know what you mean...


9.  You will not disappear simply by saying a name

Candleja...

32 comments:

Anonymous said...

Damnit Zero, your making me miss /b/

Anonymous said...

Real protip:

the candlejack meme.
you're doing it wro

Anonymous said...

[url=http://kfarbair.com][img]http://www.kfarbair.com/_images/logo.png[/img][/url]

בית מלון [url=http://www.kfarbair.com]כפר בעיר[/url] - אינטימיות, [url=http://kfarbair.com/services.html]שקט[/url] . אנו מציעים שירותי אירוח מגוונים גם יש במקום שירות חדרים המכיל [url=http://www.kfarbair.com/eng/index.html]סעודות רומנטיות[/url] במחירים מיוחדים אשר מוגשות ישירות לחדרכם...

לפרטים אנא גשו לאתרנו - [url=http://kfarbair.com]כפר בעיר[/url] [url=http://www.kfarbair.com/contact.html][img]http://www.kfarbair.com/_images/apixel.gif[/img][/url]

Anonymous said...

hotmail email password hacking
[url=http://www.viddler.com/explore/hotmail_sign_in]hotmail member profiles
[/url] hotmail problems

Anonymous said...

sainsburys pharmacy http://drugstore4.com/de/catalogue/r.html pa state board of pharmacy [url=http://drugstore4.com/product/iressa.html]iressa[/url]
umd school of pharmacy http://drugstore4.com/fr/product/colospa.html compound pharmacy hormone therapy [url=http://drugstore4.com/de/product/motilium.html]navarro discount pharmacy hialeah fl[/url]
american association of pharmacy tech http://drugstore4.com/product/feldene.html canadian pharmacy no perscription xanax [url=http://drugstore4.com/product/viagra-soft-tabs.html]viagra soft tabs[/url]
drugcity pharmacy http://drugstore4.com/fr/product/ortho-tri-cyclen.html mexican pharmacy adderall [url=http://drugstore4.com/fr/product/himalaya-pilex-tabs.html]milton jackson brown philedelphia college of pharmacy[/url]

Anonymous said...

bet on sports, bet football, foootball betting
bet online online sports betting betting online

Anonymous said...

how to start a movie production company http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_the_jewel_of_the_nile/ plugged in christian movie review [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_terra/]terra[/url]
oral sex movie http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_africa_screams/ free mothers day movie [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_the_truth_about_charlie/]ankeny ia movie theather[/url]
free full length sex movie and video http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_ball_in_the_house/ china movie [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_ice_cold_in_alex/]ice cold in alex[/url]
psychic mind movie screen http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_the_donor_conspiracy/ solid geometry movie download [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_renaissance_man/]scareu movie cast[/url]
watch ghayal movie http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_hackers/ zathura movie [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_autumn_in_new_york/]autumn in new york[/url]
evan almighty streaming full movie http://moviestrawberry.com/easy-downloads/letter_T/?page=6 twelve angry men movie [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_we_are_the_strange/]naruto shippuden movie crack torrent[/url]

Anonymous said...

superbad family movie rating http://xwp.in/detrol/side-effects-of-detrol-la-tolterodine guess the movie 3 [url=http://healthboard.in/depakote/depakote-out-of-my-system]depakote out of my system[/url]
kind of movie http://veiculo.info/map/pennsylvania-map young old lesbian movie thumbs [url=http://autoexpress.in/panoz/panoz/school]movie and pizza clip art[/url]
gay movie dome http://xwe.in/gay-anal/gay-wedding-locations free bollywood movie download [url=http://latestcarnews.in/motors/thoroughbred-motors-llc-in-pratville-alabama]thoroughbred motors llc in pratville alabama[/url]
big daddy movie quotes http://healthreporter.info/flonase/should-i-take-flonase-if-you-have-bronchitis free movie clips nude [url=http://healthboard.in/decadron/decadron-3353]disney movie auditions[/url]
tv and movie actress http://alwayshealth.in/potency free movie downloads site arieas [url=http://xwv.in/loratadine/loratadine/interactions]loratadine interactions[/url]
lesbian mature movie galleries http://xxxpornmovie.info/adult-porn/adult-gellery-hosts new mexico movie camera rentals [url=http://nevax.info/lansoprazole/will-i-put-on-weight-if-i-take-lansoprazole]evan almighty streaming movie[/url]

Anonymous said...

bus travel in provence http://icej.eu/moving/moving-broker usaid travel allowances [url=http://icej.eu/window/gm-power-window-switches]gm power window switches[/url]
custom travel trailers http://icej.eu/paving/paving-contractors-nc travel documents visa information [url=http://icej.eu/room/solid-wood-dining-room-furniture]cosmic travel[/url]
wireless travel broadband http://icej.eu/house shadow eye kits travel kits [url=http://icej.eu/bathroom/bathroom-clearance-outlet-cranfield]bathroom clearance outlet cranfield[/url]
waco travel http://icej.eu/sunroom/sunroom-plans-free hawaii travel rental [url=http://icej.eu/lawn-care/mattingly-lawn-care-indianapolis]list of websites for free classified of travel agent[/url]
adp sells travel division http://icej.eu/sunrooms/what-to-use-instead-of-glass-on-sunrooms f1 travel packages [url=http://icej.eu/roofing/kynar-cool-roofing]kynar cool roofing[/url]
jobs that travel in georgia http://icej.eu/decorations/wholesale-martial-arts-decorations-for-a-kemps-dojo valentine travel packages [url=http://icej.eu/floor/custom-floor-mats-toyota-tundra-2005]train travel ticket 20[/url]

Anonymous said...

cruise travel agency http://lufthansa.qrv.in/boeing-787-supplier used travel trailer bunk nc [url=http://travel.qrv.in/motorola-h500-bluetooth-wireless-headset-with-travel-charger]motorola h500 bluetooth wireless headset with travel charger[/url]
boston herald travel news http://airport.qrv.in/hahn-airport-in-germany travel channel extreme christmas [url=http://car-rental.qrv.in/sears-rental-car]qbe travel insurance[/url]
machupicchu travel agency http://tours.qrv.in/athens-greek-tours cheap travel destination htm [url=http://motel.qrv.in/wamsutta-wyoming-motel]wamsutta wyoming motel[/url]
grand turk travel http://map.qrv.in/melbourne-hotels-map europe car travel services [url=http://airline.qrv.in/nwa-airline-ticket]travel jewels[/url]
cuba travel reviews http://plane-tickets.qrv.in/plane-tickets-to-tampa maya calendar was designed for space travel [url=http://vacation-packages.qrv.in/wyndum-vacation-package]wyndum vacation package[/url]
travel craft manual http://map.qrv.in/cass-train-track-map-west-virginia-track-layout vero americana travel [url=http://airline.qrv.in/airline-ata-employment]travel to gatwick airport[/url]

Anonymous said...

animated musical christmas http://xmw.in/linkin-park/listen-to-linkin-park-in-the-end elo audio [url=http://xmw.in/pink-floyd/pink-floyd-dark-side-of-the-moon-zippo-lighter]pink floyd dark side of the moon zippo lighter[/url]
rolling stones four flicks dvd http://xmw.in/killers/prescruption-pain-killers prince rainer [url=http://xmw.in/kiss/kiss-and-makeup-tn]who do you love 2pac[/url]
soldier night before christmas mp3 http://xmw.in/nine-inch-nails/nine-inch-nails-hordern-pavilion route 66 ride the road to rock band [url=http://xmw.in/hot-chip/charley-chip-hot-road]charley chip hot road[/url]
winston salem music http://xmw.in/kylie-minogue/kylie-minogue-mood-for-love sleek ipod assessories [url=http://xmw.in/john-williams/john-williams-dso]queen throne furniture[/url]
country doors catalog http://xmw.in/mark-ronson/mark-ronson-ghostfac michael jackson the way you make me feel mp3 [url=http://xmw.in/michael-buble/michael-buble-everything-music-sheet]michael buble everything music sheet[/url]
kiss dvd recorder http://xmw.in/robert-plant/led-zeppelin-robert-plant musical thins for decorations [url=http://xmw.in/goldfrapp/goldfrapp-gui-boratto]aart nouveau etched glass panels for doors[/url]

Anonymous said...

Hi,

I begin on internet with a directory

Unknown said...

Even 1 man can certainly vftbieg adorn when using the Oakley Frogskins sundry forms of colour Cheap Oakley Sunglasses supports from reddish colored, purple, brown leafy, azure so forth. pick your almost sort in addition to present it clear of with beneficial panache. Oakley Frogskin aren't only for vogue and serve as a general protective shield with the eyes. eye projectiles Oakley Jawbone are gentle and ought to be used focus of when using the most useful excellent merchandise. getting that aspects note, the artisan Oakley Jawbones are greatest concerning most useful defense in addition to elegance.

Unknown said...

To find out precisely how vytrqpn very good Oakley bifoval Oakley Frogskins are generally, we've got to determine what are generally Oakley Frogskin 1st. you can easliy discover this specific off their brand: large explanation Cheap Oakley Sunglasses. These are Oakley sunglasses providing you developing a plenty sharper eye-sight. Truly, Oakley Jawbone is mostly a variety of Oakley sunglasses along with Oakleys, along with the Oakley Jawbones, that is simple with the large explanation sun glasses, point out to make available supreme lucidity including a further dazzling globe to the users.

Anonymous said...

free filipina dating http://loveepicentre.com/articles.php free dating sites for indianapolis indiana

Anonymous said...

who is michelle beadle dating http://loveepicentre.com christian teen dating site

Anonymous said...

ebook oilfield http://audiobookscollection.co.uk/fr/Kathleen-V-Cairns/m70525/ engineering ethics mitcham pdf ebook [url=http://audiobookscollection.co.uk/es/Family-Inc-How-to-Manage-Parents-Siblings-Spouses-Children-and-In-Laws-in-the-Family-Business/p168935/]the chronicles of narnia ebook[/url] ebook on java language

Anonymous said...

torrent ebook secrets exposed http://audiobookscollection.co.uk/Critical-Reasoning-in-Ethics-A-Practical-Introduction/p199281/ free ebook lord of the flies [url=http://audiobookscollection.co.uk/it/The-academic-job-search-handbook/p102980/]an ebook store[/url] on becoming a leader ebook

Anonymous said...

ebook applied physics in radiation oncology http://audiobookscollection.co.uk/es/The-Mathematical-Theory-of-Context-Free-Languages/p216732/ notes on a scandal ebook [url=http://audiobookscollection.co.uk/fr/M-Daniel-Lane/m78901/]hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy ebook[/url] ebook library terrell

Anonymous said...

john carlton ebook torrent http://audiobookscollection.co.uk/it/The-Psychology-Of-Success/p11811/ free in stone's clasp ebook torrent [url=http://audiobookscollection.co.uk/it/Geochimica/c1852/]the bell jar and ebook[/url] ebook outfitters

Anonymous said...

istage mp3 photo ebook http://audiobooksplanet.co.uk/fr/Visions/p22360/ ebook wesites [url=http://audiobooksplanet.co.uk/Changing-Planes-Stories/p207961/]iprofit ebook package fast[/url] create ebook compiler with

Anonymous said...

ebook and canada http://audiobooksplanet.co.uk/The-Art-of-Woodworking-Wood-carving/p100366/ penis enlargement ebook [url=http://audiobooksplanet.co.uk/Lion-s-Head-Four-Happiness/p21121/]ebook for industrial organizational psycho[/url] the satanic verses ebook

Anonymous said...

bittorrent blocking software http://buysoftwareonline.co.uk/product-37111/DVDPean-Pro-5-5 temp software [url=http://buysoftwareonline.co.uk/product-33251/Red-Giant-Magic-Bullet-Frames-1-0-for-Adobe-After-Effects]bpo payroll software[/url] wiser software
[url=http://buysoftwareonline.co.uk/it/]Software Store[/url] opinonated software
[url=http://buysoftwareonline.co.uk/product-35255/Joboshare-DVD-to-FLV-Converter-2-5-MacOSX][img]http://buyoem.co.uk/image/1.gif[/img][/url]

Anonymous said...

I constantly emailed this web site post page to all my contacts,
for the reason that if like to read it next my contacts will too.



Look into my weblog; cruise vacation

Anonymous said...

Hi, I do think your website might be having internet browser compatibility issues.
When I take a look at your web site in Safari, it looks
fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping
issues. I simply wanted to provide you with a quick heads up!
Apart from that, wonderful blog!

Here is my website michael kors watches

Anonymous said...

[url=http://redbrickstore.co.uk/products/periactin.htm][img]http://onlinemedistore.com/4.jpg[/img][/url]
discount lipitor pharmacy purchase http://redbrickstore.co.uk/products/trimox.htm the pharmacy [url=http://redbrickstore.co.uk/products/generic-keflex.htm]pharmacy schools in pennsylvainia[/url]
pharmacy cheap compare http://redbrickstore.co.uk/products/cardura.htm getting started in pharmacy compounding [url=http://redbrickstore.co.uk/products/abana.htm]abana[/url]
treasure coast pharmacy jensen beach http://redbrickstore.co.uk/products/xenical.htm walgreens pharmacy flu shots tucson arizona [url=http://redbrickstore.co.uk/products/plan-b.htm]online prescription pharmacy[/url]
application of liquid liquid extraction in pharmacy http://redbrickstore.co.uk/products/clozaril.htm hippa in relation to pharmacy standards of care [url=http://redbrickstore.co.uk/products/bactroban.htm]bactroban[/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/zanaflex.htm][img]http://onlinemedistore.com/12.jpg[/img][/url]
pharmacy databases http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/cardura.htm membership buy online pharmacy [url=http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/cleocin-gel.htm]continuing education pharmacy west virginia[/url]
costa rican pharmacy http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/categories/women-s-health.htm annual university pharmacy lecture [url=http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/remeron.htm]remeron[/url]
point douglas pharmacy http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/rhinocort.htm wellness pharmacy in alabama [url=http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/apcalis-oral-jelly.htm]pharmacy store for sale[/url]
uptown pharmacy los angeles http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/zocor.htm walgreens pharmacy prices [url=http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/kamagra-oral-jelly.htm]kamagra oral jelly[/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/minocin.htm][img]http://onlinemedistore.com/10.jpg[/img][/url]
lyons pharmacy steamboat springs co http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/viagra-jelly.htm rite aid pharmacy privacy act [url=http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/diovan.htm]cialis online pharmacy[/url]
jobs in texas for pharmacy technicians http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/ponstel.htm florida college of pharmacy [url=http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/tretinoin-cream-0-05-.htm]tretinoin cream 0 05 [/url]
fruyh pharmacy http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/amitriptyline.htm brooks pharmacy [url=http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/serophene.htm]abbot labs pharmacy[/url]
india pharmacy drugs cheap http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/diflucan.htm steroids from mexico pharmacy [url=http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/brahmi.htm]brahmi[/url]

Anonymous said...

I am curious to find out what blog platform
you are working with? I'm experiencing some small security problems with my latest website and I'd like
to find something more safeguarded. Do you have any recommendations?



Also visit my blog post: コーチ

Anonymous said...

Right now it appears like Movable Type is the preferred blogging platform available right
now. (from what I've read) Is that what you're using
on your blog?

my webpage :: ミュウミュウ

Anonymous said...

dating service print http://loveepicentre.com/success_stories/ dating simulator game walk through
darknightofthesoul dating [url=http://loveepicentre.com]speed dating in arizona june[/url] senior dating practices
exclusive dating executive [url=http://loveepicentre.com/success_stories/]free internet black dating[/url] diane keaton dating keanu reeves [url=http://loveepicentre.com/user/tiani1j/]tiani1j[/url] man dating 2 women

Anonymous said...

who is emily deschanel dating http://loveepicentre.com/taketour/ comedian kathleen madigan dating
dating attraction [url=http://loveepicentre.com/articles/]tyra banks dating 2007 nyc[/url] russian dating agency associations
its lunch dating service [url=http://loveepicentre.com/map/]free white label dating[/url] ruben armenian dating site [url=http://loveepicentre.com/user/emptynest52/]emptynest52[/url] big beautiful women dating service wyoming