Wednesday, May 06, 2009

The Tale of a Long Forgotten Pirates Treasure

Our story begins in the early 18th century.  After years of war. the Spanish had taken control of the vast Inca treasures.  But the wars were not yet over.  In 1820, Lima, where the Spanish had kept most of the treasure, came under threat of attack from revolutionaries.  It was decided the gold would be sent out to sea, sailed around, and brought back when things had cooled down a bit.

Enter our first character: a ship captain by the name of William Thompson.  Old Captain Will was commissioned by Spain to be the keeper of the gold.  His ship was loaded and sailed from the port of Lima in the latter half of 1820, with a few Spanish officials to see to it that everything was kosher.

What the Spanish didn't know is that he was in league with pirates.

To be exact, a pirate by the name of Benito 'the Bloody Sword' Bonito.  Mr. Bloody Sword had been raiding the seas of the Pacific for close to 4 years now.  It was said that he became a pirate because he couldn't sing.  No doubt that story derived from a sarcastic comment made to a victim before he earned his title of 'Bloody Sword".  

One dark night the Spanish part in this story came to a very bloody end.  Benito and William slaughtered the Spanish officials as well as all other passengers on board the ship.  They took the gold for themselves without so much as even a 'kthnxbai'.  Benito took his 'Captains share' and went about his business plunderin'.  

William, however, just couldn't take the treasure home.  In those days the punishment for piracy was a very gruesome death.  He took his crew and his treasure to an undisclosed desert island and buried it, no doubt with ideas in his head, and most likely every other man on the island, of coming back at a later date and collecting it.  

Those ideas were cut short, however, when shortly after leaving the island they were boarded by a British Man-O-War.  Captain William, being the ever so slick dude who made off with the Inca treasure which was stolen by the Spanish and in turn stolen by him, escaped.  His crew wasn't so lucky.

They were captured, tortured, and eventually all killed.  Of course they gave up the position of the treasure.  It was all buried on an island called "Cocos".  In those days, however, maps were shoddy at best and the British never found the actual treasure.

Old William himself ended up living out his days with a man named Keating.  Years later, on his death bed, he revealed the location of the treasure.  Instead of just telling him a name, he gave this Keating guy directions.  Keating, with the wicked visions of gold that has killed many a sailor, immediately secured a crew and set sails for the Pacific.

He actually made off with a few pieces of gold, but before he could load the entirety of the booty, mutiny struck.  His crew nearly killed each other and he was lucky to make it out alive, let alone rich.  Poor old Keating never did raise enough funds to return and the rest of the treasure was left to collect dust and moss.

That is until 1890.  Robert Stevenson, the man who wrote "Treasure Island", suddenly moved to the region William Thompson had roamed 70 years before.  After several 'mysterious' boat rides, the famous author had a vast mansion built.  All of a sudden, without any warning or apparent source, he became a very rich man.  4 Years after his move he died of a stroke.  His family was taken care of for the rest of their lives.

But what of our friend the Bloody Sword?  It is said he made his way to Australia with his 'Captains share', which was valued at over $300 million.  Queenscliff Victoria to be exact.  Legend has it he found a cave somewhere off those rocky shores.  After dropping his portion of what has now become known as "The Lima Treasure" in the back of it, the cave was sealed with dynamite, and he was off on his way to rob, rape, and download movies until such a time as he decided to retire.

Before that time came his ship was overtaken by the Brits.  Rather than just give himself up, he chose a self induced bullet to the head as his way out of this life.  Those of us who seed diligently salute him.  Thus the true pirate's treasure of this story was never found.  

In the end, we can only speculate what really happened to the Inca's gold.  But we can only hope that the writer made off with the traitorous captains share and the pirate... well, we may never know.


mrbig4545 said...

check me out i already had an account.

NOVA said...

The FUCK was that you sick Bitch?!!! That was perhaps the biggest piece of shit ever written. No wonder you have to marry chicks with only one leg. WHo do you think you are? Paul McCartney. Well you aren't. YOu are Mexican. Also good to seem I'm still banned faggot


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